Get Fitter and Healther with Coach Rich Dafter's Team Howtobefit

The Ultimate Portion Fix from Autumn Calabrese
Shop       Lose Weight        Stream Workouts         Free Coaching

Couples Who Laugh Together, Last Together

From eDiets - The online diet, fitness, and healthy living resource

So much of our attitude about life and our capacity to meet life’s challenges depends on the quality of the relationships we have, especially our most intimate relationships.

When they go sour, life tends to feel bleak. Because the quality of our relationships has a powerful effect on physical and mental balance, as well as our sense of satisfaction in life, it's important that we keep our relationships rewarding and fresh. The data on divorce provides compelling evidence that we are not succeeding at all. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce -- cohabitation couplings are far likelier to end badly -- and of the marriages that endure, many are less than happy.

Most people know the value of a good relationship and no matter how often they have lost at love, they keep on hoping. As a result, advice on how to make relationships work fills shelves and shelves of bookstores and hours of talk-show time. Some of it is even good, the product of careful research on happy and unhappy couples.

But of all the elements that contribute to the warm atmosphere of a good relationship, there is one that seldom gets translated into advice or even therapy, yet it is something that everyone desires and most people would like more of: laughter.

It's a safe bet that most of the laughs married couples get come from TV laugh tracks, not from each other. They don't emanate from the relationship. More important, they don't feed it. And if the jokes that make the rounds by email are any gauge, often they are at the expense of it.

But homegrown laughter may be what ailing couples need most. Uniquely human laughter is, first and foremost, a social signal. It disappears when there is no audience, which may be as small as one other person, and it binds people together. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener so that they are emotionally attuned.

These are the conclusions of Robert Provine, Ph.D., a neuroscientist who found that laughter is far too fragile to dissect in the laboratory. Instead, he observed thousands of incidents of laughter spontaneously occurring in everyday life, and wittily reports the results in Laughter: A Scientific Investigation (Penguin Books).

Laughter establishes -- or restores -- a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people, who literally take pleasure in the company of each other. For if there's one thing Dr. Provine found it's that speakers laugh even more than their listeners. Of course levity can defuse anger and anxiety, and in so doing it can pave the path to intimacy.

Most of what makes people laugh is not knee-slapper stuff but conversational comments.

"Laughter is not primarily about humor," says Dr. Provine, "but about social relationships."

Among some of his surprising findings:

  • The much vaunted health benefits of laughter are probably coincidental, a consequence of it's much more important primary goal: bringing people together. In fact, the health benefits of laughter may result from the social support it stimulates.

  • Laughter plays a big role in mating. Men like women who laugh heartily in their presence.

  • Both sexes laugh a lot, but females laugh more -- 126% more than their male counterparts. Men are more laugh-getters.

  • The laughter of the female is the critical index of a healthy relationship.

  • Laughter in relationships declines dramatically as people age.

  • Like yawning, laughter is contagious; the laughter of others is irresistible.

One of the best ways to stimulate laughter -- and it's probably the most ancient way -- is by tickling. Tickling is inherently social; we can't tickle ourselves. We tickle to get a response. Or to entice the ticklee to turn around and become the tickler.

Not only do most people like tickling -- ticklers as well as ticklees -- most recognize it as a way to show affection. What's more, adolescents and adults prefer to be tickled by someone of the opposite sex.

Tickling is probably at the root of all play and it is inherently reciprocal, a give-and-take proposition. In other words, it exactly represents the basic rhythm of all healthy relationships, not to mention it triggers sexual excitation in adults.

But tickling declines dramatically in middle age. People begin a gradual "tactile disengagement," reports Dr. Provine. Tickle, touch, and play, so critically intertwined, all go into retreat, although these behaviors are at the root of our emotional being.

So the next time you have an argument with your mate, don't walk out of the room and slam the door. Try tickling your partner instead. The most ticklish areas, in descending order, are the underarms, waist, ribs, feet, knees, throat, neck, palms.

It won't make problems go away. But it can set the stage for tackling them together.

Hara Estroff Marano is Editor-At-Large of Psychology Today magazine and Editor-In-Chief of Psychology Today's Blues Buster, a newsletter about depression. An award-winning writer on human behavior, Haras articles have appeared in publications including the New York Times, Smithsonian, Family Circle and The Ladies Home Journal. She lives in New York City.

The mission of Team Beachbody is to motivate you and to educate you about health, fitness and nutrition and the benefits of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Click here to learn more about Team Beachbody Coach Rich Dafter.


back to top
Team Howtobefit on Facebook Team Howtobefit on Twitter Team Beachbody Coach Rich Dafter on Instagram

Welcome

Team Beachbody Coach Rich Dafter

I'm Rich Dafter - full time dad, life-long runner, Team Beachbody Coach and Polar Global Ambassador. By the Grace of God, I have been able to raise my kids working from home by helping people get healthier, fitter and have better quality of life with free coaching.


Sign up for Your Free Team Beachbody Membership
Free Team Beachbody Memberhip
Answers, advice, guidance and support 7 days a week, 363 days a year!
Save Between $50.00 and $115.00 with a Fitness and Nutrition Bundle
Challenge Pack All-In-One Solutions
Challenge Pack
All-In-One Solutions
Save on Superfood Dense Shakeology on Home Direct
Save on Shakeology on Home Direct
Find out for yourself why more than half a million people drink Shakeology every day
Help Yourself and Others Live Healthier, More Fulfilling Lives
Become a Team Beachbody Coach and Help Change People's Lives
Plus get 25% off on all of your Team Beachbody orders with your Coach membership
Beachbody On Demand Streaming Workouts
Beachbody On Demand Streaming Workouts
Stream every Beachbody workout on any device, anytime
Save on
Nutrition Programs
2B Mindset Nutrition Program
Save on2B Mindset, 3 Day Refresh and the Ultimate Reset
Save on
Workout Programs
Save $20.00 on Transform :20 Challenge Packs and Completion Packs
Still love DVD's? Get them while you still can!
Get Healthier and Fitter with Team Beachbody
Camille Lost 8.6 Pounds with Transform 20
Laura Lost 10 Pounds with LIIFT4
Kenny Lost 100 Pounds with the 2B Mindset
Allison Lost 8.5 Pounds with 80 Day Obsession
Craig's Results Using Shift Shop
Dionna's LIIFT4 Results
Brooke Lost 8 Pounds with Transform :20

© 2019 Howtobefit.com  -  About   -  Contact  -  Join My Team  -  Coach Earnings Statement  -  Site Map  -  Shop -  Home